We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
