He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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