My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
