if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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