No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
