These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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