I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
