that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
