Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize