it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
