You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
