Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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