But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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