the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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