Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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