and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
