Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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