Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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