I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
