i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
