I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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