I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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