i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
