So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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