let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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