let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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