I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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