but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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