i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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