just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
