Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
