My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
