you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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