He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
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I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
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the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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