there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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