I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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