So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
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Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
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he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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