Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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