The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
