he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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