he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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