You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
