this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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