Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
