If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
