just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office