i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
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I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
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They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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