i permit you to call me
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
