Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Wipe that smile off your face.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC