So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
