Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
