20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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