Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
