I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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