So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
