i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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