i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
