I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
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