I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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