I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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