You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
