everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize