took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
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