My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
farters have to be the big spoon...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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