the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
