my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I pour the whiskey from now on
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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